If stupidity was a religion, it would be the biggest of all. And for some reason I am not even sure if it’s sheer stupidity or them being just a plain retard.
Of late these questions have started to wrench my mind. Something to which I can’t help but reply sarcastically and to my utter dismay, it goes in vain too. Here are “some” moronic things people say even when they pretty much know the answer:
1. When you enter a place — “Array, tum aa gaye?”
Nopes, I am still on the way
2. In a movie theater — “Hey, what are you doing here?”
Hehe, just dropped by to mop the floor
3. Calls you at 4:30 A.M. — “Oh, are you sleeping?”
No, I was doing Zumba.
4. When you receive a package that you ordered online — “Oh, online order kiya?”
Nahi bhai, Jadu ne bheja hain.
5. Looking at your wallpaper — “Oh, so you like this guy?”
No, I hate him. Which is why I have him as my wallpaper.
6. When you listen to an English song — “Oh you follow /listen to this band?”
Excuse me? No, I thought it was bhojpuri.
7. When you are going outside, your neighbors be like — “Oh, kahi ja rahe ho?”
Nahi, I like dressing up for no good reason.
8. When your distant uncle sees you while studying — “Acha, Padhai chal rahi hain !!”
Nahi Nahi, me to Ramayan likh raha tha.
9. When people catch you at some sale — “Acha, toh shopping karne aye ho”
Nahi, me to chori karne aya tha.
10. If by chance you go to a temple, then your relatives be like — “Tum pooja bhi karte ho?”
Nahi party karne aya hu . . . :O
I am making notes for some heavy sarcastic and witty replies to questions like these. Any suggestions?