Following is a list of replies to the question “Beta, tum shaadi kab karoge?” which will surely sweep your neighborhood Aunty off her feet:
1. I am already married
She just won’t accept that you got married without her interfering and it would make her go: Noooooo…
2. When are your kids getting married?
If you have learned anything from Arnab Goswami, you know the best way to answer a question is by asking another question.
3. I love your daughter
Aunty might hit the floor on hearing this
4. You’re Next!
For each time, an Aunty comes you in a marriage function and says “you’re next” you can tell her “you’re next” each time you two meet at a funeral.
5. Next week! You don’t know?
Not only will this make her heart skip more than a beat but she will lose her faith in the GOSSIP NETWORK that she along with other Aunties had been keeping strong since several years!
6. Very soon!
Tell her that that you are getting married soon and don’t give out fake details and this lack of information will keep her bedridden for weeks, as she tries to dig out information about your marriage.
7. I have not found the “ONE”
Uncles force us to get married as much as aunties do and the next time one of the uncles pops up this question, just tell them that you haven’t found “THE ONE”.
8. Shaadi.com hai na!
Each time an aunty pops up the dreaded question, just tell her that you have your profile made on all the matrimony websites, and that she need not worry about your marriage. This will also make her mind her own business.
9. Abhi Umar hi kaha hai meri
Tell her that you feel you are too young to get married and give Salman Khan’s example to make your point stronger.
10. The truth
Have some real talk with Anu Aunty and tell her the exact reason why you cannot get married and tell her that you are not ready.
11. Screw it! I like guys
When nothing else seems to work out, just tell aunty that you are gay!
But if she’s smart, it can backfire, “Even gays marry. What’s the big deal? So beta, shaadi kab hai?”