Did your mother tell you that if you do not eat veggies then you just won’t grow or that if you’d finish that glass of milk, you’d be the smartest and the strongest kid in the class? Well, being a parent is far more challenging than it seems but from where I see; it’s a land of mystical amusing stuff that our parents did. You know.
No wonder that my entire childhood is filled with lies and things that never happened or never did, but according to my parents, they were a sure shot.
1. Where do babies come from?
God’s angels wrapped you in rose petals and dropped you in our hands.
2. Mom, ye Whisper / Stayfree kya hain?
Beta, this is for elders to wipe ink off the desk.
Why can’t I use it?
3. What are periods?
It’s just the time for mom to take rest.
4. Is baar exam me pass nai hua to government school me daal dungi
Acha ji !
5. If you don’t listen, baba’s gonna come and get you
How ruthless it was for them to see me cry, every time I spotted a baba in the vicinity.
6. Stop making faces, your face will stay like that
7. If you lie, your nose will grow longer / your tongue would go pink
And other 420 lies that they lied about so that I am away from lying.
Or if you suck your thumb, it will grow longer than any of your fingers
Well can’t say much about this one.
8. Your future partner will look like the leftovers on your plate
And I ate broccoli, bitter gourd and what not !
9. What is condom?
Beta, do you want a cycle on your birthday?
10. If you eat seeds, a tree will grow inside your stomach
Yeah, right !
11. Study hard right now and you can enjoy next year
This seemed like an endless cycle.
12. If you tell me the truth, I am not going to get mad
I fell for it every single time. I got bashing every single time.
Despite having us sprint after them in a mad manner, they’d let us believe things that weren’t actually there. You sir and madam, were so Evil.