So the next time somebody asks you, “Why are you still single?“, tell them it’s because:
1. All my exes dumped me because I’m obsessed with Yo Yo Honey Singh
This will immediately make them never want to ask you anything. Ever.
2. I killed my last boyfriend and it was too difficult to carry his body to the dumpster
What to do.
3. My cat didn’t like any of my girlfriends
Excuse me, but my feline room mate makes all my decisions for me.
4. I told my last girlfriend she had a nice moustache, but she got angry and dumped me. I have no idea why
People can be so mean, right?
5. I was married to a goat when I was a kid so I can’t date now. It’s cheating
6. I kissed a guy and he turned into a frog
7. Point at the blank space and say, “He’s here. Can’t you see him?”
Are you just trying to ignore him?
8. I don’t need a boyfriend. I have food
This is actually a pretty legit reason. Food never argues. Food listens and understands.
9. I’m too good for everyone
10. According to my horoscope, I’ll have to stay single till the curse is lifted
Can’t defy astrology, yo.