We try to be the best version of ourselves when we begin a relationship.
We’re all human, and we can’t sustain this level of perfection that we all strive to attain in the beginning of our relationships. Eventually, the stuff we worked so hard to keep hidden comes out.
Here’s how you know the love is real.
1. There’s no demanding need to shave.
The beauty of a comfortable relationship is that you only need to shave if you want to. There’s no longer that weird pressure to do so to impress someone.
The last thing any girl wants to do in the winter is spend time in the shower shaving off the scruff keeping her legs and lady parts warm; it just gives the bottom half of her body even more goosebumps on the walk out of the shower.
Also, any boyfriend would be a total jerk if he dumped his girlfriend just because she didn’t shave for a month. What if she was just prepping the area for the landing strip she’s crafting for you for your birthday?
2. You fart in front of each other.
Girls especially like to pretend they don’t fart. They probably spend the first six-to-18 months of a relationship convincing their boyfriends that the only holes they have are their mouths and lady parts.
But one night, you will take her to dinner for your anniversary, you will be having sex and press on her stomach weirdly, or she will be unsuccessful in yet another attempt at trying to hide it and blame you.
There’s no turning back now. You both fart.
3. Poop is discussed in any capacity.
Nobody likes talking about pooping. That kind of talk is reserved for your health-conscious mother when she asks if you’re eating enough fiber, with your doctor at a check-up, and with your closest friends during chats about everyone’s varying levels of constipation.
A new height in any relationship is reached when someone mentions his or her bowels, so you know you’ve hit peak comfort level with your boyfriend when you can discuss how much you have to crap.
4. Period talk, especially the non-judgmental kind, is acceptable.
A girl suffers more than just the obvious bleeding for five days straight when she gets her period. She may become more irritable, impatient, emotional and in need of random foods.
Maybe she doesn’t feel like having sex with you, or maybe her sex drive is out of control. Maybe she looks a little bloated in her crop top. Maybe, mid-hookup, it comes out. In all of these cases, period talk will happen.
If conversations about periods occur without your boyfriend wanting to jump off a cliff, consider your relationship golden.
5. You pee with the door open.
If you’re in the middle of a crucial conversation, why end it just because one of you has to pee? Just leave the door open a crack, continue with that thought and let it out.
Before the first time this happens, you’ll probably ask if you could, and your partner will probably give you a nervous, hasty, “Uh, yeah, that’s fine.”
But soon, it won’t matter, and you’ll both get used to the sound.
6. You let him pee in the shower when you shower together.
Girls find the phenomenon of “peeing while standing” incredibly foreign and strange, and they like to keep the idea of showering with you as sexy as possible. Considering these two major thought processes, if she lets you pee in the shower while she’s in it with you, it’s a pretty big deal.
7. Morning breath doesn’t gross you out.
I find it interesting how often people avoid discussing the unsexy parts of a post-hookup sleepover: the smudged makeup that reveals nasty blemishes, the obnoxious SNORING, how impossible it is to actually fall asleep and stay asleep, the eye crusties and the morning breath.
After a sufficient amount of sleepovers with your significant other, you’ve definitely caught a whiff of their rancid halitosis.