Okay, you’ve finally done it—you’ve worked up your courage and left the toxic relationship behind. But what about moving forward? The breaking of any relationship, especially a toxic romantic relationship, can leave pain that may seem unbearable. However, moving past that pain is easier than you might think.
Ignite and Reaffirm Your Self-Esteem
It might sound ridiculous to some, but take time to tell yourself that you are smart, beautiful, and worthy of a good life and good relationship to boot. Say it out loud or within your mind, in the mirror, shower, car, wherever you feel comfortable. If you need to, create an affirmation to repeat to yourself on a regular basis. Maintaining your self-esteem, especially in the wake of a toxic relationship, can be difficult, but it’s essential for those who need a reminder of their worth as a person.
Go Beyond the Traditional Support System
Whether or not you have a good support system from family or friends you can still create support for yourself. A relationship counselor who earned their master’s degree in social work online says that exercise, meditation, and hobbies can all be excellent ways of coping with emotional pain. Simply adding a one-hour event into your schedule could be one hour that is pain-free. Don’t feel obligated to participate in activities you don’t enjoy just for the sake of exercising. Instead, discover what interests you. Whether it’s yoga, aerobics, swimming, tennis, or even extreme roller skating–whatever form of exercise appeals to you is the one you should be doing. If you’re not the athletic type and would rather meditate, find the method that works best for you. Not all meditation has to be done in cross-legged science–meditation takes several forms, of which there is sure to be one which appeals to you!
Make New Friends
Your friends that you have right now are probably fantastic people, however, it is often through meeting new people that you can rediscover your lost self and begin to move past the pain. Your friends may have been a support group during the toxic relationship—and they should continue to be—but it is easy to dwell on the past and your old relationship when talking to them. Keep those friends close, but look for other people and groups to relate to. By putting yourself out in the open and making some new friends or acquaintances, you are opening new doors and shutting out the pain involved in negative memories. You may also find that new friends offer a fresh perspective on your situation which could help you overcome some of the residual pain.
Ask For Help
You’ve been hurt but that doesn’t mean you’re broken. Your family, friends, and even YOU are waiting for you to ask for help. It is okay to ask for help and no, you won’t sound weak doing so. It takes immense strength to ask for any kind of help, so in a way, asking for help is making you stronger and thus it can be used as a tool to counter the lingering pain. Those who care about you will not judge you or dismiss you for asking for help because that’s not what caring people do! They will be cheering for you every step of the way, so don’t hesitate to ask them for the occasional support.
Moving past the pain of a toxic romantic relationship seems like a battle that is unwinnable. However, if you invest in a good support system and believe in yourself you can take small steps to minimize the pain and eventually leave it far, far behind.