Breaking up is never easy. It’s even tougher when you live with them. Find out how to break up with someone you live with without all the mess.
I’ve been through a few breakups in my life and let me tell you, none of them were all that easy. They became worse when I already lived with my significant other! Twice I broke up with guys I already lived with. To be really honest, it was nightmarish. I left wishing I knew how to break up with someone you live with but without the drama.
I don’t think I would even wish having to breakup with someone who you’re living with on my worst enemies! You’re both angry and hurt, belongings to divvy up—and don’t even get me started on the pets!
Keeping the peace during a breakup is possible
Not every breakup ends with all of your belongings broken and scattered after being tossed out the second story balcony. Although, it makes for an interesting story. Breaking up with someone you live with can be easy and even peaceful with some work.
How to break up with someone you live with
Take it from someone who knows exactly how a breakup with someone you live with goes and follow these tips on making it an easier event for everyone. I can’t guarantee they’ll lead you out the door with smiles and good wishes, but I can guarantee if you follow these tips, you’ll have a much easier time.
#1 DON’T pack up your belongings first. Packing up all of your stuff before talking to your significant other about breaking up is just wrong. What if they come home early one day and find all the boxes? What if they notice most of your bathroom essentials have been taken?
This only sets them off on a temper tantrum embarrassing for a three-year-old. Blindsiding someone with that kind of information and expecting them to be understanding about it just doesn’t work. They’ll be hurt about the breakup, sure, but they’ll be even more hurt you planned on moving everything out before telling them about it. [Read: How to end a long-term relationship like grown-up]
#2 Don’t start an argument before the ‘big talk.’ For some reason, people think it makes a breakup easier to get into a big argument with their significant other right before breaking up with them. They think it’s a good way to transition into leaving them, but it’s really horrible.
First, your argument probably has nothing to do with why you’re leaving them, and second, making someone really mad right before leaving them with ALL of your belongings is just stupid. They could start throwing things and that will certainly not keep the peace.
#3 Have a real breakup talk—in person. You can’t break up with someone you live with over a text. You might just come home to find your life belongings sprawled out in the lawn… on fire. You have to do something like that in person. It’s polite and keeps them from going crazy with your stuff. [Read: 33 interesting words for lovers, breakups, and fights]
#4 Make a plan—if you don’t already have one. Some people plan out where they’ll live or go after the breakup beforehand, but in case you haven’t yet, make a plan. Find out where you can stay until you find a place and make sure the plan is solid and you follow through with it.
#5 Be respectful of their stuff. The breakup may not always go as planned. Meaning, they might get mad anyway and have a fit and decide to trash a piece of your furniture. It can be tempting to retaliate and destroy something they really like, but don’t. Be respectful of their stuff and let them keep things you know they like more than you do.