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Just as women are sensitive to feeling rejected when they don’t get the attention they need, men are sensitive to feeling that they have failed when a woman talks about problems. This is why it is so hard for him to listen sometimes. He wants to be her hero. When  she is disappointed or unhappy over anything, he feels like a failure. Her unhappiness confirm his deepest fear: he is just not good enough. Many women today don’t realize  how vulnerable men are and how much they need love too. Love helps him to know that he is enough to fulfill others.

It is difficult for a man to listen to a woman

when he is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a failure

A young boy who is fortunate enough to see his father succeed in fulfilling his mother enters relationships as an adult with a rate confidence that he can succeed in fulfilling his partner. He is not terrified of commitment because he knows he can deliver. He also knows that when  he doesn’t deliver he is still adequate and still deserve love and appreciation for doing his best. He does not condemn himself because he knows he is not perfect and that he is always doing his best and his best is good enough. He is able to apologize for his mistakes because he expects forgiveness, love, and appreciation for doing his best.

He knows that everyone makes mistakes. He saw his father make mistakes and continue to love himself. He witnessed his mother loving and forgiving his father through all his mistakes. He felt  her trust and encouragement, even through at times his father had disappointed her.

Many men did not have successful role models while they were growing up. For them staying in love, getting married, and having a family is as difficult as flying a jumbo jet without any training. He may be able to take off, but he is sure to crash. It is difficult to continue flying once you have crashed the plane a few times. Or if you witnesses your father crash. Without a good training manual for relationships, it is easy to understand why men and women give up on relationship.



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