There are some things that may remain a mystery. Some factors might make love probable, but they don’t explain it all. So, here’s why we fall in love.
Love is a many splendored thing, or at least that is the way the song goes. We may not always know why we fall in love, but the truth is, there is something very comforting about being in love. Once you have fallen in love for the first time, you forever chase the rush that it gives you.
The problem with love is that you don’t get to choose who you fall in love with, or when you find them. A complex combination of similarities and chemicals, why people love one another is still a mystery – even to the most coveted scientists.
Many theories exist about why we fall in love, but to date, there is no one reason why two people mutually feel love for each other. We all know that sometimes people can love us, or we can love others, and it isn’t returned. But when there is a meeting of two people’s desires, it is one of the most miraculous things in the entire world. [Read: 8 obvious signs you’re a serial monogamist]
There are chemicals released in the brain that allow us to experience the sensation of love, but it isn’t all about chemicals. There are other factors in play. Environmental things like proximity, socioeconomic status, and upbringing are important too.
9 reasons why we fall in love
According to science, it isn’t about the stars aligning. But don’t give up on the soul mate theory just yet. Fate does have a hand for sure. Here are 9 reasons why we fall in love.
#1 Emotional maturity. People who are on the same level emotionally are more likely to love each other. Highly empathetic people fall in love with other highly empathetic people and aren’t very likely to fall for someone who is selfish or self-serving.
When you are both at the same emotional maturity level, not only are you more likely to fall in love, you will probably enjoy a more satisfying life together.
Once the chemical reactions like pheromones that draw us together fade, having an emotionally level platform from which you both stand makes for more understanding throughout the peaks and valleys of life. It also takes more sacrifice. When you sacrifice yourself, you feel better about you and then the person you sacrificed for sees you in a positive light. [Read: How to make a relationship last – 19 love commandments]
#2 A woman’s evolutionary details. Men are more likely to fall in love with women who have the right “measurements.” That isn’t always what women want to hear, but it is what science proves. We are nothing but animals in clothes when it comes to our desire to survive and procreate.
A woman who has “child bearing hips” in relation to her overall stature, is viewed as more highly attractive than those who look more fragile for mating. The waist-to-hip ratio is one of the biggest things that draws two people together and is on of the reasons why we fall in love. [Read: Why men love women and their oh-so-hot bodies – The science approach]
#3 Ideology. We tend to fall in love with people who have the same or similar ideology as our own. Whatever side of the political fence you are on, you are going to be more attracted to people who have the same perspective as you.
Surprisingly, scientists have found that political affiliation is more important to falling in love than having similar personality styles or even religious beliefs.
Politics is not just about the way that you see the economy, but the way that you guide your decision and determine what is right or wrong. That is why those who think similarly view one another more favorably and are more likely to fall in love. [Read: 12 absolutely dreamy signs of love at first sight]
#4 “Beauty.” There is no mystery that the first thing that makes a couple fall in love is an attraction to one another. Scientists have long been researching what makes someone more beautiful than someone else. The thing that appears to determine your hotness on a scale of 1 to 10 is something called symmetry.
Symmetry is the way that the two sides of your face match. For evolutionary reasons, the symmetry of your face signals to a prospective mate that you have good genes to carry on the species.
That is what drives you to want to sleep with them, smell them and just be around them. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, but more in the way that your face shows how good your genetic makeup is for the survival of the human race. And that’s a fascinating reason why we fall in love. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]
#5 Where you live. Various cultures value different attractive traits. Those who lives in areas where food is scarce are more attracted to people who are heavy. It is a sign that they are affluent and a part of the upper crust of society. In reverse, if you are from somewhere where food is in abundance, being thin may be more desirable.
Even something like breast size may be about more than just big and beautiful; it may trigger to a man that you have the means to be well nourished and that is a status symbol in some nations. That is why when you go to different cultures, you may find beauty in places that those who live in the region don’t.
#6 Similar features. Have you ever noticed that couples start to look like one another as they get older? That may be more of a chicken versus egg argument. In fact, research has shown that we usually fall in love with people who don’t look like us at all. Hence, the long-standing phrase, opposites attract. The problem is that couples who look completely different have a tendency not to last.
When studying long-term relationships, what scientists have found is that when people look similar to one another, they have a greater probability of falling in love and staying in love. For evolutionary reasons, we tend to go for people who don’t look like us, but we settle with those who are more similar to our own features.
The reason is that we have a drive to avoid marrying people who we are related to. So that is why we find dissimilar people more attractive. Falling in love for the long term may involve finding someone you look more closely matched to, instead of going for the lust-only phase of a relationship. [Read: Does eternal love really exist? Find out if it’s really forever]
#7 Age. Another one of the reasons why we fall in love is age. Although it isn’t something that a woman in her 40s likes to hear, men are usually more attracted to the features that are connected to younger girls.
Full lips, large eyes, and a smaller nose are usually more attractive to men at any age. The reason is not that they are younger per se, it is a biological trigger that men have to find women to carry their seed.
Women of childbearing years may have more attractive features than older women, but overall, it is the other factors that usually win out. Men in their 60s might be attracted to girls in their 20s, but that rarely lasts long. Once they find that they have nothing in common, the attraction fades quickly, as does the interest. [Read: 25 things guys find sexy and attractive about a girl]
#8 Your personality. Studies done in Italy concluded that your personality style might have something to do with who you love. There are biological markers in the brain that make us behave in specific ways.
These biological markers may make you more attracted to someone who is similar to your own personality style. The problem is that it is hard to decipher whether you love each other because you think alike and have similar interests, or if it is something chemical in nature. [Read: 10 reasons why passionate love can be the strongest love of all]
#9 Chemistry. Your body is made of various chemicals that can send out signals to the opposite sex. Things called pheromones are released that give alarms to the opposite sex’s nose about how attractive you are.
Each person has a different scent, and it may help to increase how attractive you find someone. Does that make you fall in love? Well, not really, but it may help to explain how you find the person to love in the first place.
Why we fall in love remains a mystery. Yes, we can send someone to the moon, make a self-driving car and soon probably cure most illnesses. But the one thing that we may never be able to decipher for sure is why two people love each other. [Read: How men fall in love – The 7 stages of love for men]
Whether you believe in a soul mate or just fate, you have to believe that sometimes things are just meant to be. No amount of experimentation can tell you for certain who you love, how long you will love them, or whether your future with them will be bright.