“”Couple Mistakes Crippling Codependency For True Love””

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KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Aft Couple Mistakes Crippling
Codependency For True Love er dating for
nearly six months, a local couple has
incorrectly identified their crippling
codependency, as well as their dual
abandonment issues and generalized
anxiety, as true love, sources on social
media have confirmed.
Brody Powers, 25, and Kara McHale, 24,
have formally pronounced they are truly
in love with one another, with the two
former extroverts posting an excessively
sentimental status to Facebook to
deliver the news to their friends and
family earlier this week.
“I was worried something was wrong
with Brody,” said Powers’ college friend
Ryan Parker, “but I’m relieved to know
that the reason I never see him and the
reason he never wants to do anything
fun is because he’s so in love.”
Though they each have massive friend
groups, since meeting the couple has
settled on mostly spending time with
each other.
“Dating Brody is so great,” said McHale.
“We both compulsively seek acceptance
and are obsessive people-pleasers, so
all we do is make each other happy.”
“That’s right, babe,” agreed Powers, who
was cuddling his beloved in a way that
ensured she couldn’t get away even if
she wanted to. “We’re both terrified of
rejection, which I think means we’re
perfect for one another.”
A few hours following the initial status, a
photo of the happy couple smiling and
hugging was posted to their respective
Facebook and Instagram profiles.
“We’re trying to convince our friends
we’re in love just as much as we’re
trying to convince ourselves,” explained
Powers when asked about the new
photo.
“I was a little skeptical at first,” said
Parker, “but Brody has known this lady
for nearly one-fiftieth of his life. When
the fraction of time is that significant,
then I suppose you can know it’s true
love.”
Despite each having grand dreams and
creative ambitions at one point in their
lives, the two settlers have decided to
move in together in the coming months
and eventually stop using singular first-
person pronouns all together.
“We’re going to love it,” said McHale.
Tyler Snodgrass is probably just
bitter.

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